The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! » Search Results » weird http://omnipotentpoobah.com Better morning read? Corn flakes box or shampoo bottle? Compare and contrast. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:51:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Newt Gingrich: Leading the Cockroach Ticket http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/23/newt-gingrich-leading-the-cockroach-ticket/ http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/23/newt-gingrich-leading-the-cockroach-ticket/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:48:29 +0000 Omnipotent Poobah http://omnipotentpoobah.com/?p=6705 Newt's Dick

AND THEN I TOLD MARIANNE… – “Darlin’, I got some serious junk here and there’s just too much of Newt to not share the wealth.”

Newt Gingrich has an ego as big as all outdoors, or at least a big as Donald Trump’s. He’s a historian with only a nodding acquaintance with text book history and his own self-professed place in it.  The other thing Newt has is a propensity for pissing people off. People like voters and political allies in his own party. While this isn’t an altogether useless skill in an election, it isn’t so great when a President has to work with people rather than through them. If cockroaches will survive nuclear holocaust Newt will be right there tossing garbage to them.

Newt and the Bulldog
The Grey One has already screwed the pooch in the opinion of most political pundits. Screwed the bulldog just like The Crazy One, The Pizza Deliverer, Governor Big Hair, and The Unknown Candidate. He’s left competing with The Even Crazier One, The Crazy Little Old Man, and The Moronic Mormon.  As long as evangelicals, pissed off white guys, and the rest of the Ignorati from small, unimportant states vote like lemmings he’ll still be winner take all on pure political gutsiness.

Make no mistake, Newt will become the candidate. I’m not a believer in legislating personal behavior , but a man pandering to values voters while having none of his own isn’t a problem. The values folks vote that way all the time and a little pecker-waving is a small price to pay beating The Messiah (oh, and BTW, when’s he going to show us his birth certificate?). By election time, the Mormon will have as big a reputation for never meeting a position he didn’t like and revealing his birth certificate instead of his 0% tax rate forms will be the least of his problems.

Newt is Newt
Newt will stride across the GOP stage like John McTheusela and try to convince the Republicans that running as President and Vice President at the same time is a good thing. After all, he’s Newt and Newt is more powerful than God. Still, some single-payer corporate grifters will kibosh the idea and force Newt to take on a wildly ridiculous running mate, maybe a Dan Quayle comeback.

The Dems will float a Biden Presidential run because they are just as afraid of Newt as the few thinking Republicans are.  But eventually, The Messiah will clinch the nomination after some public cat herding. Eventually, the Obamunator will win by the skin of his socialist nose after Newt’s hubris trips him up by saying something so weird even the Republicans can’t overlook it – perhaps moving into the White House immediately after his nomination.

Never underestimate the power of a man who can schtup wife two while taking on the Stepford Wife with the bad hair and can explain that the whole thing was Calista’s doing.

Hey, it could happen.

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]]> http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/23/newt-gingrich-leading-the-cockroach-ticket/feed/ 0 Randomness: Random Style http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/22/randomness-random-style/ http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/22/randomness-random-style/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:27:08 +0000 Omnipotent Poobah http://omnipotentpoobah.com/?p=6687 From Monday morning to Newt and the Power Rangers…from Burning Man to Odin’s beer…and Rachel Bilson too. What more could you ask than another tour through the Poobah’s vault for weird stuff.

Poobah’s Tribute to Monday Morning

Newt’s Secret South Carolina Connection

A Snoozical, Musical, Seussical

Beer, the Nector of the God…Odin

Rachel Bilson Gets All Up in Hollywood and What Not

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]]> http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/22/randomness-random-style/feed/ 0 Randomness: Sex Terms for Dummies http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/05/randomness-sex-terms-for-dummies/ http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/05/randomness-sex-terms-for-dummies/#comments Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:01:58 +0000 Omnipotent Poobah http://omnipotentpoobah.com/?p=6613 Michele Bachmann may have dropped out but Rick “Governor Goodhair” Perry is still inexplicably hanging on in the GOP race. And, Mitt the Mormon keeps mouthing weak-assed religious platitudes to anyone goofy enough to listen to him. However, he is careful about how loudly he delivers them lest someone pick up the cult meme again.

Newt GingGrinch has gone back to being an evil-tempered heathen because, really, who ever believed his new found piousness anyway? Ron Paul never was on the God train because he’s too busy just being  a damn weird Keebler Elf. And that other Mormon guy, what’s is name? Hunter? Huntmeister? Oh yeah, Jon “Missing an H” Huntsman is too far away from the microphone for anyone to hear what he’s saying.

Whatever happens to these goobs, Rick Santorum is still leading the Change of the Christian Brigade.  No one would describe Rick as sex-savvy, so he’ll need some help talking to the non-Fundy voters out there. Herewith: Sex Terms for Dummies.

51 Words for Vagina

51 Words for Penis

51 Words for Anal Sex (A Santorum Favorite)

 

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]]> http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2012/01/05/randomness-sex-terms-for-dummies/feed/ 0 Is This Really Necessary? http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2011/11/01/is-this-really-necessary/ http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2011/11/01/is-this-really-necessary/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:14:22 +0000 Omnipotent Poobah http://omnipotentpoobah.com/?p=5997 God Fearing Guy

IN GOD WE TRUST - This religious display is quite appropriate and didn't need an act of Congress to do.

Update GOP Rep: ‘Few things more important than re-affirming ‘In God We Trust’

I’m an Atheist, but I like most Theists. Really, I do. Admittedly I don’t agree with them, but I’m also strongly for the idea of to each his own. But, sometimes some of them can be real pains in the tuckus.

Fundamentalist Christians complain incessantly about how the 10-15% of the non-Christian naysayers of this nation have them on the ground with the jackboot of oppression on their necks, poised to prevent them from saying Merry Christmas or some other form of “oppression”. Having overwhelmingly fewer jackboots than God-fearing necks is mathematically impossible. Perhaps it’s a modern-day expression of the Loaves and Fishes School of Math Theory.

But oppression? Really? Syria is oppressed. Most of Africa is oppressed. A good number of Americans are oppressed. Hell, China is so oppressed they almost stamp out all religion. In some places on Earth oppression comes at the point of a gun. Asking to simply let government be government and religion be religion isn’t oppression, even if people scream it in frustration over the unending need to label everything on God’s (their opinion, not mine) green earth with a religious creed.

The ‘Reaffirmation’ Commeth
God Trusts the NavyThe latest example is Rep. Randy Forbes’ (R-VA) – and the 64 co-sponsors of his bill – legislation to “affirm” In God We Trust as the national motto. Apostle Randy wants to encourage public buildings, schools, and government facilities to carve the motto into whatever stone is available in their crumbling, under-funded, spending-cut hallways.

Personally, I don’t think we even need a national motto and if I did, I’d rather have something like No New Taxes or Capitalism Uber Alles, even though I don’t agree with those sentiments either.

In God We Trust is already on our money and the official US motto by law. I’m not agitating to remove it. If a dollar is still a dollar (adjusted for inflation) I don’t think it’s worth the trouble. Besides, when people throw it in the collection plate it’s labeled so God can easily find his money among the assorted socialist Canadian nickels.

This whole reaffirmation concept is a bit weird. Do we go around reaffirming other laws? How about the tax code? De we need to carve it into the walls of the Republican National Committee’s walls? Was the failure to reaffirm prohibition what eventually led to its downfall? C’mon.

How ’bout a Few Props for the Rest of Us?!
This bill, “sends a message that ‘In God We Trust’ is not only written in the halls of our federal buildings, but it is a bedrock upon which our nation is built.” Forbes explained. “…in times of national challenge or tragedy, the people of the United States have turned to God as their source for sustenance, protection, wisdom, strength, and direction.”

Fair enough. I feel that if you want to turn to God when things go to Hell, smite yourself out. Whatever gets you through the dark ride of life is a good thing – God or otherwise. The problem is that not all of “…the people of the United States” turn to God. It’s also true the “bedrock upon which the nation is built” was mostly Christian. However, it ignores the work of those who didn’t believe in God. Hey, how about a few props for the rest of us?!

In God We Trusters, here’s a little experiment. Ask yourself how you’d feel if I authored legislation that said, “You know, those God-fearing folk were a bunch of goldbrickers. Here I was, off building some bedrock, and they were spending all their time carving mottos into every available flat surface. No wonder it took so long to build the intercontinental railroad.”

Yeah. It doesn’t feel quite right, does it?

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]]> http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2011/11/01/is-this-really-necessary/feed/ 0 Welcome to Earth – Owned and Operated by Rupert Murdoch http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2011/07/08/welcome-to-earth-owned-and-operated-by-rupert-murdoch/ http://omnipotentpoobah.com/2011/07/08/welcome-to-earth-owned-and-operated-by-rupert-murdoch/#comments Fri, 08 Jul 2011 12:00:44 +0000 Omnipotent Poobah http://omnipotentpoobah.com/?p=5183 The Smile of the Dammed

Big Brother Says Welcome to His World

Demonstrating the number of assets belonging to Rupert Murdoch’s NewsCorp is like one of those, “If the national debt was represented by dollar bills laid end to end, it would reach Alpha Centuri” exercises. Let’s just say it’s huge. Uncle Rupert is the purveyor of both Sean Hannity and Australian Good Taste magazine – owned in partnership with Woolworth’s.

Woolworth’s? Really? The Donald has competition for Chairman of BadTasteCorp .

Some of Rupert’s underlings got caught illegally tapping phones. In response, Rupe shut down Britain’s News of the World to get rid of the scandal – a scandal, which in Murdochian terms is little more than a tempest in a pot of Early Grey.

Bill O’Reilly is Still Working
Some argue Rupert himself must have been aware of and condoned the action of the brigands. After all look at Fox News. Bill O’Reilly advocated tapping phones in the US as long as it was done in the name of the War of Error or War on Christmas or whatever “war” he’s in this week. He’s still working. (Although Glenn Beck finally got too weird even for Rupert.)

In theory that’s true. After all, Rupert is the Captain of the HMAS Greedhead. He’s ultimately responsible for whatever happens on his garbage scows. But in practice, no human could possibly know everything that happens in an organization bigger than the Roman Empire. And, whether he knew or not doesn’t really mean much. The business notion of “cost benefit ratio” is at work.

“Hmm, will I get more benefit from closing a muckraking tabloid that’s already declining to take the spotlight off NewsCorp or do I spend lots of money to get the world to hate me more than they already do?”

Yeah, I thought so. “Hey, let’s put another newspaper on the barbie.”

Shutting down The News of the World is like a backed up toilet. You flush one turd and there’ll be another 10 floating up to take its place.

It’s no great surprise that when governments are overthrown media outlets are the first places seized. Like it or not, media is a key infrastructure of our modern world. If you want to control the populace, you first get control of its ears. From there, hearts, minds, and compliance follows.

More Money Than God
And the one who “owns” that infrastructure, as Rupert does in dozens of ways in dozens of markets around the world, has control – especially when he has more money than God to run it.

Back in the days of actual anti-trust laws, Rupert would’ve had a much harder and expensive time controlling multiple media in the same US locations. He would’ve been required to explain how he would be a responsible steward of the information he supplied to his fellow citizens.

I’m no great believer in legislating things like this. I still recognize the necessity of capitalism, even if it does make me skeptical of corporate intentions. Companies should be free to sell what they wish – information included. But as we’ve repeatedly learned over the past few decades, sometimes competition is rubbed out by market forces, not enhanced. What does happen is that the NewsCorps of the world gobble up everything in sight until small actions like wiretapping thousands of people seems completely normal.

If there’s a Big Crime® in the NewsCorp affair it’s that Rupert IS the de facto media in much of the world. Most of his competition is either broke or absorbed into MegaNewsCorp. With his wealth and power, he can do almost anything he likes, from throwing some poor Fleet Street sots under the bus to saving some cash by unloading a distracting embarrassment.

Our Constitution gives us the right to free speech. But free speech don’t come cheap and without some resistance we’ll soon be Rupert’s own little “children” playing with toy phones.

Welcome to Earth – owned and operated by Rupert Murdoch.

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